dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
