Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize