Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
