my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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