I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
