I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
