good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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