apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
