i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
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