yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Need sex. Gaining weight.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
