It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My ass is underappreciated
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
