Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I said "one day" and that day is not today
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
