is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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