Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
