shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
