just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
