Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize