Welp...herpes.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
