Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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