YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
