I wish my penis had an off switch
She announced her abortion via fbk
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Do you remember whose house we're in?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
