the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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