Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
