I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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