I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
