At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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