Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You were trust falling into bushes
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
