that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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