this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
