kristin has been a bad kristin
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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