All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
