Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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