you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
