Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
