Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize