okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
