bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
