What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
