The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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