I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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