so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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