we have officially lost it.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
