ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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