can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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