booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
