Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
