glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
