we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
