i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
