woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
