I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
