.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
