I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
