ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
