I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
