If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
