Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
