lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
