It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize