She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
