I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm too high and old for this...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
