Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
