just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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